Beauty of the Military
by Wolfborg007
Summary: When Riza is made to join a beauty pageant to fulfill a mission, will she succeed, or will she lose her mind? Based on Ms. Congeniality, and rated T for safety.
1. A Regrettable Error

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Miss Congeniality…at all.

Beauty the Military

Ch. 1: A Regrettable Error

It was another call, another seemingly average, yet rainy day. Colonel Roy Mustang, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, and the rest of the team were on another mission from the Brigadier General.

Riza, before they left, secured her gun in its holster, and followed Sergeant Furey, and Second Lieutenant Havoc.

"Remember, this isn't a routine capture." Roy said when all of them arrived.

The others nodded, and headed towards the restaurant, where their lead told them to go.

"This guy is supposed to be really tough…" Master Sergeant Furey said, in slight nervousness.

Riza sighed, and looked at him.

"Trust the Colonel's leadership. He knows what he's doing." She said calmly.

Her gun ready, she looked at the Colonel's team, and entered the building with them.

"Stay put!" Roy called his gloves and gun ready.

Riza gave him an odd look,

"Please, tell me that he's not going to use alchemy dripping wet…" she prayed.

The man that they were after looked at them, and revealed gloves, similar to Roy's.

"He's Ligue, the Blue Lightning Alchemist!" Falman exclaimed, "He uses his gloves to make sparks, but instead of blowing things up, he uses ions in the water vapor in the air, for the electrical current to travel. With a bit of aiming, he hits his target with deadly force, accuracy, and speed."

Riza aimed her gun for his head, ready to shoot in a split second.

Ligue looked at Riza with his grey eyes, was about to strike at her, but started to turn purple and choke.

"Nobody move!" The Colonel barked, his gun still pointed at the man.

"He's choking sir!" Riza observed.

"Don't move, Lieutenant!" Roy barked again.

"But sir, I received direct orders from the Brigadier General, to take him in a live." Riza said, running to Ligue, and performing the Heimlich maneuver.

One the man had stopped choking; he grabbed Riza, and held her roughly around the neck.

"Lieutenant!" Roy exclaimed.

"Move or I'll shock her like a lightning rod!" he said, preparing his gloves.

Riza was frightened for a few seconds, but gained her rational thought quickly.

After elbowing Ligue in the stomach, she turned around, and pinned him down.

"Yeah, that's what you get for messing with a Military officer!" she growled.

Ligue's followers, however, started shooting at the Riza and her team.

Many shots were heard through the restaurant, and Riza used her gun, with her usual keen eye, and accurate aim.

A gasp of pain then came from the golden-haired man fighting beside her.

Riza turned, to see him holding his shoulder in pain, as blood started to stain his blue military uniform.

"Hold on, Havoc…" she said, kneeling down to him, "Colonel, he's wounded!"

Roy looked over to her and Havoc, as his men started to finish off his followers.

"We'll call an ambulance." Roy said, signaling to Furey.

Furey nodded, after Roy gave him the order.

"I have it under control lieutenant." Roy said

Riza stood, feeling totally guilty.

"I'm sorry Colonel…" Havoc said weakly.

"Don't apologize; you did a good job out there. We're gonna get you better, okay?" Roy said calmly.

Havoc nodded, as an ambulance siren broke the silence.

Riza watched as Havoc was loaded up.

"I should've stayed put…" she lamented.

"Hey, you made a choice. It wasn't a good one, but you moved…" Roy said.

Riza just sighed, and they headed back to headquarters.

The entire drive, she questioned her decision and knew that her career would be in jeopardy.

Roy would glance at her every few seconds.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm fine." She said softly.

After packing her things at her desk, back at East headquarters, she went to the shooting range to release some of her unwanted emotions.

She made several shots, and all except for one, were perfectly on target.

"I have to get rid of this guilt…" she said, scolding herself.

The next day, she headed to a small coffee shop, and picked up their orders, as she usually did.

She gave everyone their usual order, and went to her desk. Seeing a small note, she picked it up and read it.

It was a summon by the Brigadier General for a required meeting. She nodded, and headed to the conference room.

Many officers were there, so she knew, that it wasn't her mistake that they were going to discuss.

"I'm sure you're all worried about how Second Lieutenant Havoc's condition is. He's fine, and he'll be out in two weeks. Oh, and he is expecting a lot of gifts." The Brigadier General said.

Everyone smiled, and sighed in relief.

"But, we have some bad news." The General continued, "We believe, that Tornado has struck again. He left another riddle, and we have no leads. Colonel, gather another team to look into this case. Now, Dismissed!"

Roy nodded, saluted, and waited for the Brigadier General to leave the room, fixing his mustache the entire way.

Riza smiled at the good news, but followed the Brigadier General.

"Sir?" she asked timidly, her hands stiffly at her sides.

He looked at her,

"Yes Hawkeye?" he asked glaring at her, "What is it?"

"Permission to speak freely sir…" she requested, her right hand, moving to a salute.

"Permission granted." He said.

"I just came to apologize for not exactly obeying orders the other day." She said.

He faced her, a slight flame in his eyes.

"You either obey orders, or you don't. There are no excuses for putting yourself and other officers in danger. "The Brigadier General said.

"Yes, I totally agree sir…" she said, "But I request for the ability to work on the Tornado case. I think I could benefit the case."

The General continued to glare at her,

"Like you did last night? I want you to bury yourself in a large stack of paperwork." He said, "Understand? Good, now, you're dismissed."

He walked away, as Riza stood.

She then headed to a nearby bar, where she ordered a small drink.

Roy then walked in with his newest date.

"Hello Lieutenant." He said, as the red-haired girl leaned on his shoulder.

Riza nodded her head.

"Hello Colonel." She said, "On another date I see."

She sipped her drink, as the girl looked at her.

"You really work for the military?" she asked.

Riza nodded,

"Yep, I really am an official military officer." Riza answered.

"Oh, and do all female officers have to wear that masculine kind of outfit?" the redhead asked.

Riza sighed,

"Yes, it's required." She said.

Riza then glared at Roy,

"Well, we'll just let you enjoy your drink." Roy said.

"Of course." She said, watching them walk away.

Riza finished her drink, and solemnly headed back to the office, in order to try to finish that riddle, and her large amount of paperwork.


	2. An Odd Mission

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Miss Congeniality, but you know that already…

Beauty of the Military

Ch. 2: An Odd Mission

Hours later, Colonel Mustang called a meeting for his team to discuss the Tornado case.

"Are you sure about this information?" Roy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm positive." Falman replied stoically.

Riza then bounded up to the pair.

"I figured it out, the riddle! It's the Annual Beauty Pageant!" she exclaimed.  
They all headed to the conference room, as Roy tried not to stare at Riza for her seemingly ridiculous theory.

"So, what have we got?" Roy asked, sitting at the head of the table, and laying his elbow on the table, and his head in his hand.

"The annual Beauty Pageant, this year, held at Lior." Lt. Furey said, holding up a pale flyer.

"Yeah, and all the people there, Tornado is sure to strike…" Falman said.

"Yeah, and we only have forty-eight hours." Roy huffed, utterly frustrated, "Okay gentlemen, where do we start?"

Everyone look around, clueless.

Riza then spoke up,

"You might want to contact the reporters, and supervisors, in a meeting. They're help might be needed later on." She suggested casually.

Roy nodded,

"Nice idea Hawkeye. Let's do that." He said.

Riza smiled lightly at the thank-you.

"Well, what about other troops?" a man asked.

"Well, troops aren't gonna help us, since there are areas, that they wouldn't be allowed. Only models, and people like that are allowed to enter." Riza said.

Roy then stood up, as if having a revelation.

"Yeah, I see what you're going for! Undercover…" he said smirking, "And I have just the girl for the job."

They then grabbed an album of Military officers from their sector, and headed into another room.

Roy looked through several pictures, and pointed at a skinny, pale, brunette female, with light, green eyes.

"There we go!" he said, enthusiastically.

Riza looked at the picture, and rolled her eyes.

"He never changes, does he?" she thought.

Maes Hughes, then emerged, several different cut-out outfits in his hands.

"These are from my lovely, smart, wonderful daughter." He said beaming, and laying them on the table.

They put a bright orange dress, over the outfit the outfit the officer was wearing in the picture.

"See, what'd I tell you?" Roy asked, receiving nods of agreement from the others.

Riza looked at the album.

"There's only one problem…" she stated.

"What's that?" Roy asked.

"Second Lieutenant Sarke is on maternity leave." She answered.

Roy sighed,

"Well, that's no good…Let's look for a different person." He said.

They looked at several people, and had a great time doing it.

"Oh man, that looks like my mother!" one officer exclaimed, in disgust.

They laughed, and tried several officers' pictures, including the Colonel.

((A/N: Sorry for those who got disturbing visuals…))

Riza laughed among with the others.

"Now, you know how I feel about miniskirts…" she said, grinning.

They then looked at the Brigadier General.

"Oh geez!" Riza said, turning away.

When she spotted the general behind her, she gasped, totally startled.

The people then scattered, as they realized that the Brigadier General was behind them.

"Uh, we were just finding an undercover agent…" Roy said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And I'm the best we got…" the general said, his mustache twitching, " Doesn't inspire much confidence, does it Colonel?

Roy saluted,

"No, it does not, sir!" he said stiffly.

"Well, get back to work. Oh, and Hawkeye, shouldn't you be at a desk somewhere?" the general asked, walking away.

"Yes sir…" she said softly.

"What, he was standing right behind me, and you don't tell me?" Roy asked Riza angrily.

"I don't have eyes in the back of my head, sir!" she said.

"Hold on, what about Hawkeye?" Havoc suggested suddenly.

"Oh no, don't…" Riza protested.

Roy examined the picture,

"That's not bad…" Roy said, his eyes wide.

"You're gonna want to save that, because that's something you're never going to see again." She said, "Let's just get back to work."

She then walked away, changed her clothes, and headed to the gym, to do a few exercises.

"He can't be that desperate, to see me in a mini skirt!" she thought, "Who does he think he is? Well, for one thing, he's not the Furher yet."

Roy approached her,

"Come on, Lieutenant. You might have some fun doing it." Roy said persuasively.

"No way on this earth…" she argued, "I'll follow most orders you give me, but this isn't one of them."

"Why not? You're beautiful!" Roy answered.

"There's no way, I'm prancing around, like some girly singer, with a name like: Rita Flowers, in some tasteless swimsuit!" Riza said, growing slightly angry at his persistence.

"Aww, come on. It wouldn't be like that!" Roy said, "Would I do that to an important member of my team?"

"Yes, you would." Riza said, trying to ignore him, and get on with her exercises, " I'm talking to the person who wants to become Furher in order to put all female officers in mini skirts, who dates at least five times a week, and is totally useless in the rain."

"Don't be like that, please. I'll make sure the swimsuit is tasteful, I promise. Just do a few more exercise, and you'll be set." Roy said, patting her on the shoulder.

She then grabbed him in a headlock.

"Well, you know what? Is the General trying to punish me?" Riza snarled.

"Look, I had to beg him to let you do this. If it weren't for me, you'd still be at a desk doing paperwork!" Roy argued, as he was being pinned down by Riza.

"This might be a shock to you, but I've never been in a beauty pageant before! I don't even own a dress!" she exclaimed.

He then turned over, and pinned her to the ground.

"What part is supposed to shock me?" he asked, sarcastically.

They both wrestled, until they became totally tangled up in each other's grip, and were pretty much stuck. They stayed still for a few seconds, until Riza spoke up.

"Okay, hypothetically, what if I said yes, to your totally outrageous mission, would I have to do it all? The make-up, hair, and swimsuit?" she asked, shuddering at the last one.

"Yep." Roy answered, standing up, and tossing her onto the padded ground, "All of it."

Surround officers applauded as the Colonel stood in his "victory."

Riza then spun around, and knocked his feet out from under him.

"Well, where am I supposed to put my gun?" she asked, doggedly.

"You'll find out yourself. I can't help you there." Roy said, "But I'll be glad to take care of Black Hayate for you, when needed."

She sighed,

"Alright, I'll do it…" she said, annoyed and timid at the same time.


	3. Beauty is Pain

Disclaimer: I don't own anything…FMA or Ms. Congeniality… TT

Beauty of the Military

Chapter 3: Beauty is Pain

They headed to the pageant office the next morning.

"I don't know what possessed me to say yes, without you giving me a direct order…" Riza said, dreading what was to come.

"There are a lot of things that could've persuaded you. You know, a chance to see the world, college money, meeting new people, and other stuff like that." Roy said casually.

"Well, I would've joined the marines. You can get all that there." She answered.

"Well, you'll be saving a lot of people, Hawkeye." He said, as the car came to a stop.

They then entered a nearby brick building.

"Hello, we're looking for the supervisors of the beauty pageant." Roy said.  
Riza put her head in her hands, trying to gain her dignified aura.

The two people looked at them from a pale, white desk, as Roy showed them his badge, and explained their purpose for coming.

"I don't think I heard you correctly." The blonde haired woman said.

"Well, I think they want to put one of their military officers in our pageant." The man answered, seeming confused himself.

"We're not aiming to win, but our agent will need to get into the top five, so they have access to all parts of the stage." Roy explained.

The woman looked at him, shocked.

"Absolutely not!" she said, in utter disbelief.

"Ms. Moonbeams, we understand how important this beauty pageant means to you, and…" Riza tried to say.

"Excuse me," Ms. Moonbeams interrupted, as she stood up slowly, "This is not a beauty pageant. This is a young women's scholarship program."

"Oh, absolutely Ms. Moonbeams. We're here to protect the girls, and your scholarship program." Roy said.

"Well, there's nothing more important to me, than the safety of my girls. Have you tried getting the reporters and such to cancel the pageant?" she asked.

"Yes, but they won't have it." Riza said.

"Hold on, if we let her in, which region is she going to be from?" the man asked innocently.

"Well, Mr. Arcos, we have a lead that one of the girls is going to drop out soon, because of a certain…incident." Roy said, with slight unease.

Mr. Arcos and Ms. Moonbeams exchanged glances.

"Well, do you have an agent in mind?" Ms. Moonbeams asked.

Riza lifted her hand,

"That would be me." She said, half-heartedly.

"Oh goodness…" Ms. Moonbeams said, "Well, call Victor Sweeny please. He will help you."

She signaled to her assistant Foku,

Riza and Roy talked to Vic on the phone, and agreed to meet him at a local restaurant two hours later.

Riza and Roy walked into the restaurant, wearing very casual clothing.

They spotted him, and went over.

"Hello Mr. Sweeny. This is First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, and I am Colonel Roy Mustang." Roy said, giving him a salute.

Riza followed him in giving Vic a salute.

((A/N: For those of you who didn't know this, Vic is the name of the vocal actor who plays Edward Elric in the American version of FMA. That is why I kept it, the same as the movie.))

"I can't believe it. I'm supposed to make a hardened soldier into an elegant lady…" Vic muttered.

"Oh, it's not that bad." Roy said, with some mocking sarcasm in his voice.

Riza looked at him, with slight annoyance.

"Well, why don't you have some lunch? It's totally on us." Roy said, "But I gotta get going. I have some inspecting to do, but why don't you two get acquainted?"

He then walked out, and left Riza and Vic standing there.

"Well, are you hungry?" Vic asked.

"Yeah." Riza replied, sitting down across from him.

"Yes…" Vic corrected, "It is always 'yes' and not 'yeah'"

Riza sighed,

"I am going to hate this…" she said, to herself, as Vic continued to rant about table manners, and other things of the sort.

When it came to eat, Riza ordered a chicken dinner, and Vic ordered an elegant steak dinner.

"Keep your elbows off the table, and sit up straight. I doubt that they starve you in the Military." Vic commented.

"What is your problem!" Riza asked, trying to keep her temper down, "Ever since I walked through those doors, you've been very…antagonistic."

Vic sighed,

"Did you know that I was one of the most sought after coach for girls in the Annual Beauty Pageant? Girls would come from all over to beg me, so I would train them ever year, and every year, they were crowned, until one year, we lost to a girl, with all her limbs replaced by auto-mail, and she was deaf. You can't beat that!" Vic said.

"Well, why didn't you have a contestant?" Riza asked curiously.

"Well, two years ago, my girl froze, and told reporters that I was crazed, and drove her near insanity. Obviously, no one would want me then." Vic said solemnly.

Riza remained silent, and finished her meal.

When both of them were finished, and their bill was paid, Riza and Vic took a walk down the street.

"You must glide, Miss Hawkeye." Vic said.

Riza let out a deep breath of dislike.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"You must look like you're floating on a cloud. Shake your hips a bit. It's all in the buttocks." He said, "Oh, and your chin should be parallel to the ground. Here, watch me."

Vic then demonstrated his "gliding" technique, as Riza stood, in slight confusion, shock, and disturbance.

"He must be a really secure man to walk like that in public, but man, I'd love to see Roy try that." She said, snickering lightly, and going to follow after Vic.

"You're not chasing a criminal here; just calmly glide over the sidewalk." Vic said.

As they walked, he thought to himself,

"We have a lot of work to do…" he said to himself.

"Well, besides gliding, what else do I have to do?" Riza asked.

"You have to get a make-over." Vic said.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Riza pined.

"No, we will head to the spa, and get you a decent make-over." Vic stated.

When they finally headed home, Riza collapsed on her bed, as Black Hayate lay on her chest.

"I don't know why I did Roy this favor…" she said, stroking the dog's black and white colored head.

She then fell asleep peacefully, as the dog breathed peacefully.

The next day (As Vic said), they headed to a large spa.

Riza followed him, feeling totally out of place.

"Well, what are your plans here?" she asked.

"Teeth, hair, nails, feet, and many other things, that I do not wish to name right now." Vic replied.

"Well, which are we going to do first?" she asked.

"We only have a few days. We're going to do it all at once." Vic said.

They placed Riza into a dental chair, and did everything Vic named at the same time.

She winced in slight pain, as they pulled, pushed, polished, painted, waxed, filed, and so many other things, it would be impossible to name them all.

"This is worse than any military training I've had been in…" she thought.

To make things worse, Vic didn't permit Riza to eat or drink anything that could be possibly fattening.

"There you go." Vic said, handing her a piece of celery.

Roy was there, watching the whole thing, as Riza glared at him.

"No one said that it was gonna be easy." He said.

She closed her eyes, took several deep breaths, and walked away.

When she was almost done, Roy happily handed her a walkie talkie, and, a gun (which probably made her day), and a fake ID card.

"Rita Flowers?" Riza asked, reading the name off the card, and glancing up at Roy.

"I know you liked that name." Roy answered smoothly.

"Well, now I really feel like a dumb blonde…" Riza said, rolling her eyes.

((A/N: Sorry to all the blondes out there, no offense intended.))

The next morning, everyone was ready to see Riza's "Transformation" (As Roy fondly called it).

"I still can't believe she said 'yes'." Second Lieutenant Havoc (who was back on his feet) said, lighting up another cigarette, and sticking it into his mouth.

"Yeah, but she defiantly was reluctant, to say the least." Falman said.

The doors then opened, and everyone came out, including Riza.

She had her hair down, and it was gleaming. She wore a light purple outfit, and a pair of thin wire-frame glasses, as her face seemed to shine in the early sunlight.

Roy leaned on the car, to keep from fainting at her new looks.

"Whoa Lieutenant, is that you?" Roy asked, as the other officers gawked at her.

"Colonel, I'm exhausted, starved, and armed. Please, I am in no mood for your sarcasm." Riza said, as she continued walking.

"That's her. Nice work, Mr. Sweeny." Roy said, in total amazement.

Roy and the others then followed after her.

"I am good." Vic said, grinning slyly.

They then headed to the long awaited pageant.

Riza tried to hide her nervousness the best she could, but she was still feeling out of place despite her looks.

"Well, Miss Flowers, "Roy said, "I wish you the best of luck, and we'll be close by."

Vic and Riza then started into the building, only to be stopped by Ms. Moonbeams.

"Victor!" she said, greeting him with open arms and an elegant outfit.

"Let me do the talking." Vic mumbled to Riza.

Riza nodded without hesitation.

"Well, Ms. Moonbeams. It is a pleasure to see you again." He said, "And you look more radiant than ever."

Riza just stood, smiling lightly.

"Why Miss Hawkeye, I mean, Flowers, you look absolutely perfect!" Ms. Moonbeams said, "Oh, and right on time for the orientation breakfast."

Ms. Moonbeams took Riza by the arm, and escorted her onto a tram filled to the brim with other contestants.

Riza examined her surroundings timidly.

She had no idea what Roy, Vic and the others had in mind, but so far, she didn't like it.


	4. New Feelings and New Friendships

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, yadda, yadda, yadda…

Beauty of the Military

Chapter 4: New Feelings and Friendships

She walked onto the tram, and scanned the car for a vacant seat.

"Oh Rita, this seat isn't taken." Another blonde girl said, shifting over, to lean on the fogged window.

Riza sat down, with some slight unease.

"Thanks…." She said.

"I memorized the entire orientation pamphlet. You're picture wasn't in there, so I knew it was you. I know all the others, including myself of course." She said, "I'm Cheryl Keiza."

Riza shook the girl's hand.

"I'm…well, I suppose you know who I am." Riza said.

They were going to keep talking, but Ms. Moonbeams came onto the tram, and everyone quietly waited for what she was going to say next.

"Well, I'm sure all of you are excited. So, how about a song for the ride?" she asked, with a forced smile.

The girls giggled with excitement, all except for Riza, who looked around uncomfortably, as they all started to sing a song that she didn't know.

The tram started to move, as the arrival to the breakfast came fast.

Riza stayed with Cheryl, as they sat down at a table.

"Hello girls, this is Rita Flowers." Cheryl said, as Riza waved shyly.

She was introduced to several other contestants at their table.

"How would I ever compete with them?" Riza thought, as she sat down.

Ms. Moonbeams then went up to the podium, and stood up, as everyone applauded.

Riza respectfully listened, and munched on a bagel.

"Thank you. Well, as you all know, for the past twenty years, it has been an honor to serve as supervisor and producer of this pageant." She said, "And I'm sure this will be the most exciting year ever!"

Everyone in the room applauded happily.

"Now girls, after a photo shoot, and a brief dress rehearsal, you can get settled in your rooms." She continued, "And we'll begin the preliminaries, hosted by our own, Mr. George Arcos."

Mr. Arcos stood as everyone clapped happily, and he walked up to the podium, as Ms. Moonbeams moved out of the way.

"Oh thanks everyone. Now, even though I'll be retiring this year, it has been a wonderful experience, and an honor, as Ms. Moonbeams said before."

"Aww, what a shame, he's retiring. That's so sad." Cheryl said her voice full of pity.

"He's not retiring. They're firing him." One of the other girls said, who sat across from them, "The poor man blurted the whole thing out this morning."

Riza and Cheryl exchanged glances, and sighed.

After the breakfast, Riza and the others headed down the hall to dance practice, which was one of the events Riza was dreading.

She tried to keep up with the others, but felt humiliated and useless at the same time.

Finally, the day was over, and Riza was about to sleep for the first time in a few days.

She sighed in relief, and sat on the bed, when she heard a knock.

"If that's Roy…" she muttered, as she stood reluctantly to open the door.

Her expression changed totally when she was Cheryl standing at the door, with a thermos and two mugs in hand.

"Oh, hi Rita!" Cheryl said, in her usual, cheerful manner.

Riza couldn't help but smile.

"Hi Cheryl, you wanna come in?" she asked.

Cheryl nodded, and handed Riza a mug.

"Here, I made some hot chocolate, low fat, of course." She said.

Riza took the cup, tasted the chocolate. It had a slightly sour taste, and texture, and she tried to discreetly spit it back into her cup.

"It was hot…" Riza lied, when she met Cheryl's gaze.

"Oh, sorry." Cheryl answered.

"It's alright." Riza said casually, "I'm fine."

"Well," Cheryl said, trying to make conversation, "What's your talent for tomorrow?"

Riza hesitated for a while.

"Well, it's…a surprise." She said.

Cheryl lit up immediately,

"That's so neat!" she said.

"Yeah, but it's nothing like baton twirling or anything like that." Riza said, unthinking.

Cheryl grew slightly gloomy, and Riza felt remorse for what she said.

"Oh Cheryl, I'm so sorry…." She said, "I didn't mean it like that…"

"It's alright. Baton twirling can be a real art. I saw a tropical flame dancer once, y'know, a street performer? She lit her batons on fire, and did this wonderful dance." Cheryl explained, "I wish I could do something like that."

"You could." Riza assured, "If you put your mind to it."

"Oh, my parents wouldn't let me do that. They don't like anything with fire." Cheryl said.

Riza thought of Roy at that exact moment, and grinned.

"Well, I better get going." Cheryl said, "I can't miss my beauty rest."

Riza gave her a smile,

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow." She said, waving.

Cheryl smiled back, and headed back to her hotel room.

Just as Riza was about to fall asleep, she heard a soft tapping sound at the other glass door, that opened to a flower covered patio.

"Now what?" she wondered, getting up once again.

Roy stood there,

"Come on, Vic has more training for you." He said.

"I haven't slept in three days!" she exclaimed, trying to stifle a yawn, and trying not to whine.

"Come on Riza, it's really important." Roy said, "Don't make me beg."

"Alright…" she said, reluctantly.

Immediately when she got there, and changed into the dress that Vic told her to wear, Vic gave her more tips on how to walk.

"Remember, you have to glide." He said, "And there's too much space between your knees."

Riza was becoming (to say the least) frustrated.

"Alright, alright…" she said.

"Don't look down." Vic said, "And keep your knees touching."

"Alright, here, hold these." Riza said, taking off her ammunition belt, and several guns, and a knife she had tucked within her dress.

"Anything else?" Vic asked his arms full of weaponry.

"No, that's it." She said.

"Oh, by the way, what are you planning to do for your talent tomorrow?" Vic asked.

"I'll do whatever you want me to, sensei." Riza said, with some slight sarcasm.

"Colonel, this girl has no talent. I wasn't told to provide one, and I am certainly not prepared to do so in such a short amount of time." Vic said, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Well, you don't have to say it in front of her." Roy said, as he spotted Riza behind Vic, "Besides, you also said that you couldn't make her into a lady, in two days, but look how stunning she is now!"

Riza blushed slightly.

"Well, from the car wreck she was before." Roy added hesitantly.

Riza rolled her eyes.

"Well, there is something I can do. I haven't done it since my first years of elementary school, but I haven't forgotten how to do it." She said, "I just gotta contact room service."

Roy then escorted her back to her room.

"Well, did you really mean what you said before?" Riza asked curiously.

"What did I say?" Roy asked, looking at her, with a raised eyebrow.

"About me being somewhat of a car wreck." She said, "I mean, I'm not like those girls you like to date, and all, but still…"

Roy found himself wanting to take back the comment.

"Lieutenant, I'm sorry if it hurt you…" he said.

"It's alright, sir." She said, "I know that you think I look a lot better than before."

"Better? You look absolutely lovely." Roy said, as they approached her room, "Well, enjoy the rest of your night."

Riza saluted, and went into her room. She told room service, her request, and finally got some sleep.


	5. Consequences

Disclaimer: I don't own either of them…

Beauty of the Military

Ch. 5: Consequences

The next morning, Riza found herself totally exhausted.

She went into the dressing room, while the other girls were busily setting up.

She then put on her outfit, and headed to the stage, where the talents were being shown.

"Oh Miss Flowers We have the water glasses you requested." One of the maids said, giving her a large cart.

There were several different acts. Some girls danced, some sang, and Cheryl did her baton twirling act.

When it was Riza's turn, she dragged out the tray, covered in various water glasses, and she played a few songs.

During one of her songs, her eyes spotted a suspicious looking man.

She kept an eye on him, as he headed towards the stage.

Unable to hold herself for very long, and unable to reach her walkie talkie, she leapt at the man.

Unfortunately, the man was only going to light up a cigarette.

"What the heck was that for!" the man barked in pure shock, "Can't a guy smoke around here?"

"I am so sorry." Riza said, her face darkening, as she felt totally embarrassed.

A few hours later, Ms. Moonbeams, Mr. Arcos, Roy and Riza had a meeting.

"What were you thinking, when you leapt off the stage?" Ms. Moonbeams demanded angrily.

"Yeah, you could've signaled to us first. That is the second time you moved without orders from a superior officer." Roy added.

Riza looked down,

"I'm sorry, my actions were inexcusable." Riza said.

"Look, Ms. Moonbeams, every operation is bound to have its mistakes." Roy said, trying to calm Ms. Moonbeams down.

"Well, as far as I can see, she is still here." The distressed supervisor said.

"Well, we'll look out for that, next time, won't we, Lieutenant?" Roy asked.

Riza nodded,

"Of course, sir." She said.

"Good, now Vic wants to see you. He said it was very important." Roy said.

Riza sighed, and headed to the stage.

"Ah, very good Miss Hawkeye. Now, the interview is the most important part or your score." Vic said, setting up a chair for her.

At the same time, Roy returned to the office.

"Oh Colonel," Lt. Havoc said, "The Brigadier General called. He heard about Lieutenant Hawkeye's incident and he's coming to the hotel."

"Great…" Roy sighed, "I'll hate for him to fire me over the phone…"

Vic continued ranting about Riza's posture, as she followed half-heartedly.

"Now remember, you have to smile." Vic said.

"I would so love to hurt you right now…" Riza said.

"Well, it doesn't matter, as long as you smile." Vic said, "Now, why do you love your job?"

He was reading the question off of a small blue stack of cards.

"Well, it's fun to practice my aim, and see the Colonel totally useless in the rain." Riza said in mock seriousness.

"You know, I don't appreciate your sarcasm and immaturity where I am working so hard." Vic said, growing aggravated.

"What does it matter? It's fixed, I'm in the top five, and you don't have to work that hard." Riza answered.

"Do you not have any pride in your beauty, or the way you act?" Vic asked.

"Look, I'm a First Lieutenant in the military, and I only care about protecting the one's I care about, and my duty." Riza replied.

"Well, you are a very incomplete person. You don't have relationships or anything like that. Instead, you have your coldness, and a gun." Vic said.

"You're telling me about coldness, when all you've said, was nasty things to me, ever since, we met…" Riza asked, "I don't have relationships because I don't want them, and I work almost 24/7. You have no idea what I've seen, or why I am the way I am."

She walked away, trying to keep her temper under control.

"Why are you the way you are, speaking of interviews?" Vic said.

"That's none of your business. I think we're through here." Riza said, pulling out her gun and pointing it directly at his head.

She walked out, and found Roy practicing some of his alchemy on the sidewalk.

"Colonel, I just came by to tell you that I'm quitting." She said, "I can't do this anymore."

"Hold on," Roy said, standing up, "Wait, what you mean that you're quitting?"

"Yeah, it means that you picked the wrong girl," Riza snarled, "I don't even feel like a real member of your team, or a real soldier anymore! All I want is to do my job, that's it! These past few days, I have felt totally useless."

She felt that herself start to tear up a bit.

"Lieutenant…I mean, Riza…I've been waiting for a mission like this one for a while. Do you think I'd blow it off on the wrong agent?" Roy asked.

"I know, the reason you picked me, is because I was the only one who looked half decent in a mini skirt, and wasn't pregnant." Riza said.

"No, that's why they let me pick you. I picked you, because you're intelligent, you're assertive, you're easy to talk to, when you're not armed. Cut the rest of the pageant ladies and Vic some slack, because if they come to know you better, they're gonna love you." Roy explained calmly.

Riza smiled lightly,

"Fine, I'll try my hardest, and I won't quit on you." Riza said, "I might let you down, but I'll try my best to prevent that. I mean, I did promise you, right?"

He smiled at her, as she headed back to her room.

"Thanks Colonel." She said.

The next morning, was the swimsuit competition, and Riza had the biggest urge to run away.  
"No, this can't be happening!" She said to herself.

When Vic handed her the outfit, it took all her energy to keep her from screaming.

"I am not wearing that." She complained

"You have to…" Vic said, "It's only for a little while. Once you're done, I'll let you burn it, if you want, or you can use it for target practice, but until then, you have to wear it."

Riza very grudgingly took the suit and put it on.

"I can't believe I'm going to wear this…" she thought, as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Well, Vic then led her to the stage, and she then lined up with the other ladies, as Mr. Arcos announced the competition.

""I have been avoiding this kind of experience my entire life…" Riza said, as Vic tried to calm her down.

"Well, just think of grace, and poise and you'll be fine." Vic said, pushing her onto the stage.

People applauded as she walked onto the stage.

After she was done, and she walked off the stage, Riza enthusiastically changed into a modest dress, and got ready for the interview.

Most of the girls answered their questions with the oh, so cliché answer of "World Peace", but Riza's answer was different.

"Well George, our society needs harsher punishment for parole violators." She said, "And…world peace."

She added the second part, out of uneasiness.

Everyone clapped,

Roy then ran up to her, as she walked off the stage.

"Hey, we found a suspect. Cheryl Keiza. She fits the profile." Roy said.

"You can't be serious, "Riza said, "That Cheryl!"

Riza pointed to her friend who was out answering her interview question.

"My perfect date…that's a tough one." Cheryl said, clutching the microphone. I'd have to say, April 20th, it's not too cold, and it's not too hot or not too cold. All you need is a light jacket."

"Yeah, there's a hardened criminal, right there." Riza said.

"Look, maybe she's totally innocent, okay? Why don't you talk to her, y'know, girl talk..." Roy said.

"I'm sorry to say, Colonel, and pardon me for saying, but hearing you say that, it's pretty odd." Riza said, slightly disturbed.

"Girl talk, geez, how am I gonna do this?" Riza thought, as she went to find Cheryl.

She went, got some doughnuts, and headed to the gym, where most of the girls hung out.

"Hey Cheryl, how are you?" Riza asked.

Cheryl looked into a small pool of water.

"How can you ask that? You heard my interview." Cheryl answered solemnly.

"It wasn't that bad. Come on, have a midnight snack with me, and we can chat." Riza said.

"Do you know how many calories you're talking about?" one of the other girls asked.

"It's only a few, geez." Riza said.

Cheryl cautiously took one, and the other girls followed.

"They're so good!" one of them said happily.

"We're gonna need more than this." Riza said.

They went to a nearby club, of Cheryl's choice.

"I had such a good answer to that question too." Cheryl said.

"Don't fret over it." Riza said, "What's passed is passed."

"This is so much fun." Cheryl said.

"Yeah, so much fun it should be illegal." Riza said, "Oh, talking about illegal, have you ever committed a crime?" Riza asked.

Cheryl looked at the table,

"Yes, actually, I have…" she said, regretfully.

"Well, go on." Riza said, trying to get any vital information.

"Well, I stole a red pair of underwear once." Cheryl said, "My mother wouldn't buy them for me. She said they were 'Devil's Panties'"

Riza let out a deep sigh,

"Oh, and there was this one time, I was in beauty school, I'm studying to be a hair dresser…anyway, my teacher attacked me." She said.

"Did you turn him in?" Riza asked.

"Oh no, I never told anyone before. I know that kind of thing happens all the time." Cheryl said.

Riza shook her head, startled.

"No, no it doesn't, Cheryl. Oh, if I only knew you before. There are so many defense moves and techniques I could show you!" she said.

"Really?" Cheryl asked, in awe.

"Yeah, "Riza said, "Here, stand up."

She helped Cheryl up.

"Here, keep your feet planted on the floor, and they might come at you from here…" Riza said, turning around.

Cheryl, suffering from slight exhaustion, collapsed on the floor.

"Oh my gosh, Cheryl, are you alright?" Riza asked, worriedly.

Cheryl just moaned softly.

"Let's just get you to the bathroom." Riza said, picking her up.

"Wow, she looks horrible." One of the other girls said.

"Yeah." The others agreed.

"It reminds me of the time Ms. Moonbeams took the place of the winner in her last beauty pageant, when the winner mysteriously got food poisoning." One of the girls said.

Riza thought for a while,

"Well come on, let's get her back, before Ms. Moonbeams finds out anything." Riza said.

When they got back to the hotel, and Cheryl settled back in her room, Lieutenant Falman approached Riza.

"First Lieutenant Hawkeye, the Brigadier General has to see you. It's very important." He said.

Riza nodded, and followed him, feeling terribly nervous.

"Yes, we captured the Tornado." The Brigadier General said.

"Really sir?" Riza asked.

"Yes, he was holding up a small bar, outside of town." Roy said, "You can get out of that dress."

Riza smiled for a second, but then went stoic.

"I think that we should stay here, and keep an eye on Ms. Moonbeams." Riza said.

"Do you have any proof?" the General asked, "Does anyone have any proof, on why we should waste military funds on a solved case?"

"But sire, I request permission to stay here with a small number of subordinates." Riza said.

"Request denied. If you want to stay, you can, but as a private citizen." The general said.

"Sir," Riza asked, growing slight upset.

"Colonel, is there any reason why we should support Ms. Moonbeams?" The General asked, looking at Roy sternly.

Roy looked from the General to Riza, and back.

"No sir, there is no evidence." Roy said, his voice lined with guilt.

"Very good, now let's move out. Hawkeye, you can turn in your badge, and your gun." The General said, exiting the room.

Riza held back her tears, and looked at Roy, as they started to pour down her face.

"Please Lieutenant, don't cry on me please…don't give me that look." Roy said remorsefully, going over to her.

"Colonel, I'm no longer a lieutenant." Riza said, handing him her badge, and her gun.

"Please Riza, don't do this. I need you on my team." Roy pleaded.

"I have to protect those girls." she said, wiping her eyes, and walking towards the door, "From what I saw right now, you can take care of yourself, I quit!"

Roy looked on, and sat in a chair, as the door slammed behind her.

"I can't believe it…" he said, softly to himself, putting his head in his hands.

Riza headed to her room, and Vic was packing his things.

"Where are you going?" Riza asked, fearing the worst.

"I regret that I have to leave. The contract is no longer intact, but I have done, what seemed to me, the impossible." Vic said, "Oh, and I got this for you."

He handed her a wrapped box.

"What's this for?" Riza asked, looking at the light blue box.

"Well, the Colonel told me that you didn't even own a dress." Vic said, "I believe it's in your size."

"Thank-you." She said, "But now I have no hope in getting into the top five."

"Don't give up. Why, if I had a daughter, I'd imagine that she'd be something like you, but, perhaps that is why I have never reproduced." Vic said.

He then closed his suitcase, and headed out.

Riza sat on the bed, feeling totally helpless, and hopeless.

"I hope those guys are right about her." She thought, the tears still coming down her face.


	6. Danger at the Pageant

Disclaimer: You know this already, but I don't own Ms. Congeniality or Full Metal Alchemist…

Beauty of the Military

Ch. 6: Danger at the Pageant

Riza woke, the next morning, grabbed her make up bag, and headed to the dressing room.

"Geez, I have no idea how to do this." Riza muttered frantically, "Which one is lipstick?"

She dug through the bag, totally flustered.

"Ladies, Rita needs help!" Cheryl said.

The other girls swarmed over, and helped her with make-up.

It was the final "showdown" and there were thousands of people there.

Riza dressed into her new outfit, and lined up with the other girls.

She heard the announcer speaking and the music starting, and she couldn't help but be nervous.

They then started their dance routine, as everyone applauded wildly.

Mr. Arcos entered onto the stage, when their routine was finished.

"Welcome ladies and Gentlemen to the lovely, desert city of Lior, where we hold the Annual Beauty Pageant!" he announced, "I am here to announce the top five finalists!"

He announced the top finalist.

Riza and Cheryl were two of them.

Riza was never so amazed in her life.

Meanwhile, Roy, Vic, and the others were getting ready to go home on the plane.

"Sir, I checked the information about Ms. Moonbeams, as you asked, sir, and she's a model citizen." Master Sergeant Furey said, "She has one son, but is a widow."

Roy nodded, absorbing all the information.

"That rascal is a terrible example of a human being…" Vic commented scornfully.

"You know her son?" Roy asked.

"It's her pageant assistant, Foku." Vic said.

"That's odd. When she was questioned, she never mentioned her son, or her assistant." Roy said, "Do you have any information about Foku Moonbeams?"

Lt. Furey shook his head.

"Nope." He said, "And I checked my sources, carefully."

"Well, of course not, he changed his name, to hide his crime, and keep his mother's name intact." Vic said.

"How do you know that?" Roy asked.

"I've been around this pageant for almost your entire life." Vic said, "It would shock you, what I know."

Riza, at the same time, was in her second swimsuit competition.

"Do it for the safety of the other girls…" Riza said to herself, as she stepped onto the stage.

When she was finished with that, she rushed to get her other outfit on, so she was ready to do her musical act.

Before Cheryl got onto the stage before her, Riza rushed after her.

"Here, I got you something." She said, handing her a bag, with a pink bow on it.

Cheryl unwrapped it to see a pair of fire batons.

"Oh no, I couldn't…" Cheryl said hesitantly.

"Come on, your partied, stole panties, you're almost invincible." Riza said smiling.

Cheryl wrapped an arm around Riza's neck, as she went to finish her outfit.

Vic, had told Roy about Foku's crimes, and misuse of bombs, and other weapons.

"We gotta get back there!" Roy said, settling into his car.

The only thing on his mind, at that moment, was Riza's safety.

They both headed to the theatre, and headed backstage.

Cheryl was doing her routine, as Riza watched excitedly.

Riza then spotted Roy and Vic, and she lit up.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked happily.

"Listen, I think you might have been right." Roy admitted, "Foku is Ms. Moonbeams' son."

"Foku, you mean her assistant, who crushes with the girls in his spare time?" Riza asked, with slight disgust in her voice.

"I searched his law files, and he has several things, except he changed his name. Roy explained.

"What are you planning to do?" Riza asked, concerned.

"Well, you just do what you can, we have to find Foku." Roy said, "I can count on you, right Hawkeye?"

Riza looked at him, and her look softened,

"Of course." She said.

A producer then ran over to her,

"Miss Flowers, you're up next." He said.

"I gotta get my water glasses!" Riza said.

She then spotted the other girls, drinking the water.

"Oh no, that's my talent!" Riza exclaimed.

"We're sorry, we didn't know." They said, walking away.

"Now what are you going to do? You have to get into the top five!" Vic said, "Can you sing, make puppets, rearrange furniture?"

"No, I can't do any of that!" Riza said, "All you said is that I had was coldness and a gun! Unfortunately, rules say, that guns cannot be used."

"Well, you have a gun, and a fierce punch." Roy added.

Riza thought,

"That's it!" she said, "Colonel, I'm gonna need your assistance, besides, you owe me."

Roy couldn't help, but have a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Alright." He said.

She walked onto the stage.

"I'm sorry, it says that I was supposed to play the water glasses for you, but some of the girls got dehydrated backstage, so I'm here to explain some basic self-defense techniques for young women." Riza said, "So, here to help me with my presentation is my assistant, Roy Stallion."

Roy sighed at the change of his name, but Vic pushed him onto the stage, as everyone clapped.

"Now, in some cases, your attacker might come from the front." Riza said, fixing her posture to an appropriate stance.

Roy reluctantly went to pounce on her, and she hit him in the face.

Everyone in the audience jumped, totally startled.

"You use the bone, by the palm of your hand; make contact with the attacker's nose. This will break the nose, and cause your attacker's eyes to tear." She said, "Now, if they come at you from behind…"

Riza once again adjusted her position.

Roy stood there, wanting only to fix his wounded pride.

"Come on Roy." Riza urged.

He then grabbed her around the waist, as she threw him over her shoulder, and onto the floor.

Once again, the audience once again clapped.

"Now, if all else fails, go for the four most sensitive areas of the body. How we remember them, we use the word SING. S-I-N-G."

Roy grabbed her from behind again,

"They are, respectively, Stomach, instep, nose, and groin." Riza explained, hitting him in every spot as she said it.

Roy then staggered off stage, as Riza patted him on the back.

"You owe me big time…" he growled lowly.

Riza followed after an enthusiastic cheering from the audience.

"Let's go find that Foku, after you get your evening gown on." Vic said.

When Riza was done changing, it was time for the calling of the final five contestants.

She went on stage, as several names were called, and to her surprise, she and Cheryl were called.

Vic gasped and applauded excitedly, as Roy watched, trying to hide a smile on his face.

They then got ready for the next interview.

"I can't believe it!" Riza said.

Vic grinned at her,

"I told you not to give up." He said, "You earned it."

It was Riza's turn,

"Now, as you know, there are many out there, who disapprove of this Beauty pageant, and other events like it. What would you say to them?" Ms. Moonbeams asked, reading the question off a card, similar to the ones Vic had before.

"Well, I'd have to say, that I used to be one of them, but my opinion has been changed a lot since I have made good friends with most of them, and have come to firmly believe, that these women are smart, terrific people, who are just trying to make a difference in this world. This experience has been one of the most rewarding in my life." Riza said, holding the microphone, "And if anyone tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would hunt you down, and take you out. Thank you, Ms. Moonbeams."

She handed the microphone off to the next contestant to her right, as Ms. Moonbeams looked slightly pale, and uneasy.

After the girls were taken to the dressing room, Riza spotted a group of girls, gathered around last year's pageant winner.

"Where's the crown, I wanted to rub it for good luck…" One of the girls said, kind of disappointed.

"Oh, Foku took it to be polished, but don't worry," the woman said, "It'll be here on time."

Riza froze, as she came to realization.

"It's the crown. It must be a bomb or something." She said, frantically.

Roy, meanwhile, was still looking around, for any clues to this case.

He spotted Riza as she was on stage, trying to signal to him, with no success.

The runner-ups were being called, as Roy looked up to a rather large statue, and spotted Foku hiding behind the scenes, looking down at the girls below on the stage.

Roy got his gloves ready, and put them on, as he too, headed behind the statue.

"Vic, wait here." Roy said.

At the same time, on the stage, the competition for the Queen of the pageant was between Riza and Cheryl.

Both girls exchanged anxious, yet excited glances at each other.

"Our first runner up is…Miss. Riza Flowers, which means, that Miss Cheryl Keiza is our winner!" Mr. Arcos announced proudly.

Riza and Cheryl embraced each other.

"Don't take the crown." Riza warned in her ear, as she clung to Cheryl.

One of the security guards had to pull Riza away from her.

Riza fought them, and tried to get the crown away from Cheryl.

"I have to stop Foku's plan…" Riza growled, as she kicked the guard.

Cheryl, thinking that it was out of jealousy, fought Riza.

As Riza tried to get the crown, Roy fought with Foku on the statue.

"Don't make me fry you." Roy snarled, as he knocked the trigger switch, that he found in Foku's hand, onto the ground below.

"Riza!" Roy yelled, as he saw Ms. Moonbeams pick up the trigger switch.

Riza spotted him, and threw the crown away from the people, as Ms. Moonbeams pressed the trigger, a crazed look in her eyes.

The crown exploded in a flurry of sparks and flames, and it took off most of the scenery.

Cheryl fainted into Riza's arms, causing Riza to fall as well.

Both girls sat on the ground, as what just happened settled into their minds.


	7. An End to it All

Disclaimer: Yes, I own none of them, I'm a loser! sobs

Beauty of the Military

Ch. 7: An End to it All

After the competition was over, the audience was evacuated, and Cheryl gained consciousness, Riza ran over to the broken statue.

"Colonel!" she called out, looking around, as the smoke cleared.

A coughing was heard, and two human figures approached.

Roy held Foku by the collar of his shirt, as he went towards Riza.

"You're alright?" Riza asked, bounding over to him.

"Yes, are you okay?" Roy asked, looking her over.

Riza nodded.

"Well, let's take care of Ms. Moonbeams and Foku here." Roy said.

Riza saluted, and went outside.

Ms. Moonbeams and her son were taken into custody, while some of the eyewitnesses were being interviewed by energetic reporters.

"You have nothing on me. All I'm trying to do is make the world a better place." Ms. Moonbeams said, as Riza put her in the car, "Now, you're an elegant lady. I did that!"

Riza scowled at her,

"No, Vic and many other professional spa people did that, anyway, stop struggling and get into the car, you're under arrest." Riza demanded.

"You think you saved something tonight, but all you did is destroy the dreams of young girls everywhere." Ms. Moonbeams argued.

"Is that what you think girls want? Is to be blown up? You have a great chance at that insanity plea. Don't make me shoot you." Riza said.

"I deserve it! They want to fire me, steal my life, and my beauty pageant!" Ms. Moonbeams answered angrily, as she fought against Riza.

"Hey, it is not a beauty pageant. It's a scholarship program." Riza answered smartly, pulling out her gun.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Ms. Moonbeams said, getting into the car.

"It's always 'Yes'" Riza corrected, as she slammed the door, and watched the car drive away.

Roy walked up to her, several bandages on his face.

"Hey, you did good work." He said.

"Thanks, you did too." Riza answered, "So, how does it feel, to be a bit different for once, and put you're job as Fuhrer in jeopardy?"

"Pretty good actually, but I don't think I'll do it again." Roy chuckled, "So, anyway, I was thinking. After you go back to your old ways, would you like to go have dinner or something?"

"Like a date?" Riza asked, some blood rushing into her face.

Roy felt himself blush also, and he loosened his uniform collar a bit.

"Yeah, I guess…" he said nervously.

"So, you do think I'm pretty." Riza said, giving him a smirk.

Roy smiled,

"No, you're stunning." He said, leaning in to kiss her.

Riza leaned in as well, and they kissed.

Maes Hughes then emerged from one of the cars,

"Roy, did you finally get yourself a wife?" he asked, looking at the pair.

"Well, don't jump too far Hughes." Roy said, "But there's a good chance I did."

Riza smiled and leaned against him.

The next morning, everyone was ready to leave, and life went back to its usual state.

"You gotta admit, you're gonna miss this." Roy said, as he held her hand.

"Maybe a little…" Riza admitted, "But I miss my job, my desk, and my dog more."

As they were going to get into Roy's car, Vic came running up to them.

"Colonel, Lieutenant, thank gosh you're still here! Someone found a suspicious looking suitcase in the dining hall. Come check it out, Foku might have left it!" he exclaimed.

Riza and Roy ran into the dining hall, where all the girls, and people involved with the pageant (except for Ms. Moonbeams and Foku) were waiting.

"This isn't gonna work for me…" Riza said, going to walk out, as she realized what just happened.

Vic and Roy stopped her.

"Oh no you don't… Vic said, pushing her forward.

"I can't believe you did that." Riza said, somewhat agitated.

"I knew that I wouldn't be able to get you here, unless you had the chance to shoot someone." Vic said, as he eased her onto the wooden podium.

Cheryl was waiting there.

"Everyone, this is First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye of the military." Cheryl announced, as Riza tried once again in a feeble attempt to get away.

"No, wait!" Cheryl said, "Even though, you're an important part of the military, you're always going to be Rita Flowers, the nicest, sweetest, yet coolest girl in this pageant, and this year's Miss. Congeniality!"

Cheryl and several other girls handed her a trophy, and pink sash.

"Wow, I don't know what to say…" Riza said, bewildered, "Well, besides that I can't wear this with the uniform. Anyway, I never thought that this would ever happen to me. I kinda hoped, at first, that it didn't, but now that is has, I really don't mind it. I'm very honored, and moved…and truly touched by this."

Riza felt some tears come into her eyes.

"And I really do want world peace." She said, her voice breaking.

The other girls hugged her, as everyone clapped.

When she got back to her apartment, hours later, she set the trophy on a side table, and the sash on the head post of her bed.

Black Hayate sniffed it, and climbed into her lap, his tail wagging.

"Yep, who would've thought that I would ever enter that?" she said, stroking the dog's dark fur calmly.

She smiled lightly, and looked at the sash, and then at the uniforms that were hanging in her closet.

"Well, perhaps once Roy becomes Fuhrer, I can enter another beauty pageant." She thought.

She then snickered, and shook her head, amused at the thought.

"Then again, I think once is enough." She said, as she got ready for bed, "After all, I am a dog of the military."

_**The End**_

((A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. Please Read and Review!))


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